The street vendor on Literary Road sold three things: hot dogs, Lay’s potato chips and Pepsi-Cola. Four if you counted lively conversation, five if you had the privilege of listening to his radio when Indians games were on. The last two were free as long as you bought one of the first three. In May…
Hi. I’m Sebastian Testerfrogmosin. I have the world’s smallest top hat. Please don’t look at it. You just looked at it, didn’t you? That’s okay. All you have to do is say 3 Hail Marys, 2 Our Fathers and 1 Act of Contrition. Then send 3 million dollars in unmarked bills to my address in Dearborn,…
One morning before school Little Joe was sitting on a park bench surrounded by crows. Little Joe had a crush on a girl named Kathleen. Kathleen was a cheerleading captain. She had an award-winning smile and a multitude of impeccable physical features. But Kathleen was too busy dating Chet Farkus to notice that Little Joe…
When I look at a slice of Rascal House pizza, I look deep into the eyes of its toppings. I imagine their lives, where they came from, their dreams and aspirations. Then I write a story about them.
They say never trust a guy with two first names. What about two last names? Smith Jones walked in just in time to hear Cleveland State tip off against Butler. It was two days before Christmas, 2011. “What’ll it be, Mac?” asked the barkeep. “It’s Smith Jones, not Mac. Give me a pint of your…
“So you see officer, the customer told me he was looking for a fast running shoe. I said, ‘that’s strange, a fast running shoe just came in this morning. I laced it up and put it over there with the rest of the shoes on the wall. Then I left the other one in the…
Here’s something I wrote 10 months ago, but it’s Father’s Day so I’m posting it again. Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Although his ended tragically, Ernest Hemingway led an interesting life. Writer, outdoorsman, celebrity. He was also a salesman because he knew how to persuade in 6 words or less — “For sale: baby shoes never…
Recently, at a trade show snack bar at McCormick Place in Chicago… Sometimes my ideas start on cocktail napkins. I was coming up with something for the flux capacitor. I took a long look at the logo on the napkin in front of me, my scribbles and sketches of flux capacitors alongside it. It was…
In 1909 Jack London wrote a story called “A Piece of Steak” for The Saturday Evening Post. It’s about a boxer named Tom King. King is broke, hungry and at the end of his career. In 2018 I wrote a story about a big, juicy hamburger. It, too, got to the meat of the matter.…
The most compelling pizza box in Cleveland has traveled every square inch of my hometown for 40 years. It’s been seen on both sides of the Cuyahoga River. It holds honorary degrees from John Carroll, Case Western and Cleveland State. I had the opportunity to sit down with the most compelling pizza box in Cleveland…
The “World’s Most Famous Rabbits List” is out and some rabbits aren’t happy about it. The Easter Bunny: Unbelievable. I’m currently ranked 5th on the World’s Most Famous Rabbits poll. On Easter, for crying out loud! Let’s see who’s in front of me. 1. Bugs Bunny? 2. Br’er Rabbit? Hey, Br’er, what’s with the apostrophe?…
In 1988, Jim Henson created a muppet named Spruce Springsteen and auctioned him off for charity at an event called the Night of 100 Trees. His legacy lives on in the heart and mind of perhaps one person on a tree farm in the American heartland. Here we see a farmer calling his children together.…
It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas or Valentine’s Day. My wife and I love pizza. We especially like Rascal House pizza in Cleveland, Ohio. Check out the latest story I wrote for them here When The Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Rascal House Pie, That’s Amore! Thanks for reading.
Cornelia is a cross country runner. She especially enjoys running on cross country courses lined with cornfields. “There’s something about the fall,” she says. “The colors, the smells, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet. Not to mention all that corn!” It’s cross country season – a time to display her talents and all…
January 14, 1962 Swiss Miss was taken into East German custody yesterday for “yodeling and spreading good will,” according to ConAgra, the American company that manufactures the popular chocolate powder used for making hot cocoa. She had accidentally wandered over to the east side while promoting the product to West Germans. At the time of…
Even though Eunice was not quite two she had already had her share of meaningful conversations with imaginary friends. My wife, a victim of last minute gift wrapping, was fast asleep in our bedroom. Eunice was playing in the living room amid a pile of books, stuffed animals and unopened presents. The Christmas tree, dressed…
It happens every Christmas. A cheap, insensitive curmudgeon named Ebenezer Scrooge gets spooked by a dead business partner named Jacob Marley and three ghosts. He becomes nice. Then at some point down the road he gets mean again. Until the following Christmas when he gets nice – again. How soon after Christmas does Scrooge fall off…
