One morning before school Little Joe was sitting on a park bench surrounded by crows. Little Joe had a crush on a girl named Kathleen. Kathleen was a cheerleading captain. She had an award-winning smile and a multitude of impeccable physical features. But Kathleen was too busy dating Chet Farkus to notice that Little Joe liked her.

This wasn’t the first time that Little Joe had sat on that park bench surrounded by crows. He had been sitting on that park bench for several weeks. His heart yearned for Kathleen. His mind drifted between reality and fantasy. He could not concentrate in school. He had replaced all thoughts of reading, writing and arithmetic with visions of Kathleen in her cheerleading outfit. He imagined the crows knew everything about women. Because they were his friends he sought out their opinion.

“What would you do if you liked a girl and wanted to ask her out?”

“Caw! Caw!”

“I had a feeling you were going to say that. But I think I’d make a better impression if I asked her in person. Check out my blue and gold shirt. Got it at Target last night. I feel like a million bucks in this shirt. No, I’ve got to ask her out in person.”

“Caw! Caw!”

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Besides, I hate talking on the phone. I never know what to say.”

“Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!”

“What’s with you guys? It’s like you own stock in AT & T. I think I’m better off asking that duck over there. Hey, duck! What do you think I should do?”

“Aflac.”

Suddenly, the crows and the duck started laughing their feathers off. Little Joe got up to leave. Before walking away, he turned to the creatures he thought were his friends and said, “YOU GUYS ARE ALL NUTS!”

Illustrated by Audrey Sajovie