The players, all 6 of them, spend 40 minutes arriving at a consensus on how to “mark” the game they are pausing so they can step out and grab a bite, 15 minutes on how they intend to resume play, 10 minutes deciding between Pizza Hut and Market Place. One guy is trying to convince…
Sleepy Hollow Chamber of Commerce, 2014 Addressing the public through a Hessian translator, the headless horseman offered an apology for terrorizing the small community since 1790. “I guess I lost my mind and hurt some people, and for this I am sorry,” said the horseman to a crowd of at least a dozen people. Looking…
A 126 lb. wrestler for I-Quit High School said uncle just seconds before he would have been pinned at the Regional Championship in Belfast, Ohio yesterday. Teammates, coaches and fans are grappling with all sorts of emotions following the bizarre incident that resulted in a forfeit for both opponents. “He had the left side of my…
Moira: I usually like meeting new people. But in this case I couldn’t wrap my fingers around how to tell him. I’m still having a hard time talking about it. Kathleen: You’re just having a hard time erasing the image of his golden talons penetrating the right clogged cavity of his cone-shaped beak — and…
A man, who wishes not to be identified, bit off more than he can chew at Dom’s Steak House last night. He is recovering at home where his jaw is expected to make a full recovery. He plans to finish the slightly masticated remains of his New York Strip later today. Pondering the fate of…
A man authorities are calling “Billy” has been frantically searching for British pop singer Phil Collins since April. Billy, you may recall, was asked by Mr. Collins in 1985 not to lose his number. After nearly 30 years Billy lost the number, and he is trying to get in touch with Collins so he can…
This short story by Mike Sajovie appears in “Sleigh Bells and Muckrakers” (copyright 2013). The italicized portions were borrowed from Ernest Lawrence Thayer’s “Casey at the Bat” – an American poem that was published in 1888. J. Lewis Snodgrass was a self-proclaimed journalist who challenged baseball owners to change their ways or face dire consequences.…
Professor Hinkle, the less than magnificent magician who was ordered by Santa Claus to give his hat to Frosty the Snowman, has filed a lawsuit for the amount of $45,000. And he wants his hat back so he can make a living. Hinkle’s attorneys issued a statement indicating that this amount is fair and would…
On my door hangs an American flag that ripples like gentle waves on warm summer days. Inside there are things. Things made by people, much like the flag on my door. The bookcase has little square cubicles for laying paperbacks and textbooks flat. A myriad of streets and hamlets that tell stories about faraway lands.…
The average person born after 1940 believes that a sprite is a supernatural, elf-like creature who lives in the woods and consumes more carbonated beverages than 75% of all European nations. Sprite Boy, the silver-haired icon from 1940s Coca-Cola advertising, helped increase sales for the soft drink giant during WWII. But did his heart beat…
Chet spent several years in the minors bouncing from team to team. He was primarily a shortstop, but would occasionally switch to 2nd base. The night before a game against St. Paul he got a call from Lester, the manager. “I may need you to play 2nd base tomorrow. I’ll call you in the morning…
Los Angeles – March 12, 1985 Director: Robert Zemeckis Scene: Marty arrives home to find out that Biff wrecked the family car Take 79 George: (Well) I know what you’re gonna say, son, and you’re right, you’re right. But Biff just happens to be my supervisor, and I’m afraid I’m not very good at confrontations.…
i make words go vroom. 