Sal And Colin Ponder The Fate Of Old Man Winter In Cleveland

cleveland winter

Sal: I hate him.

Colin: Yeah, especially his wind chills and arctic blasts.

Sal: He’s like the devil, only colder.

Colin: I heard he reads Jack London and laughs when the old man dies in To Build a Fire.

Sal: I heard Liam Neeson put a number on him. He called him and used that voice of his:

“Hello, Old Man Winter? You don’t know who I am. But I know who you are. Now listen to me, Old Man Winter. I don’t have a shovel or a plow. But what I do have is a set of skills I amassed over a lifetime of acting in movies. I’m going to give you a chance to release this chokehold you have on Cleveland. If you walk away now, I will not pursue you. You are free to dump a load of snow on Pittsburgh for all I care. But if you stay I will look for you, and I will find you. And when I find you, I will make you wish that you were never born. I will make your life a living hell, and dogs from all around the world will relieve themselves on your lily white snow. So, what’s it going to be — number 1 or number 2?”

Colin: So what happened?

Sal: Winter said he needs 6 more weeks.

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