John Wayne And The Mayflower Compact

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I think John Wayne and the pilgrims get along for the first couple of days.

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do, pilgrim,” I can imagine John Wayne saying. “Have you seen my hat, pilgrim?” “Are you gonna finish that biscuit, pilgrim?” “Hey pilgrim, pull my finger!”

At first, the pilgrims bite their tongues and remain civil. After all, John Wayne is an icon. John Wayne is rugged, adventurous, and able to defend pilgrims from their new elements. But eventually a few of them tire of him. Saying the same thing over and over again gets old very fast.

“This John Wayne fellow seems a decent man, but does he have to keep reminding us that we are pilgrims?”

“John Wayne brightens the mood around here. He stays, at least until someone better comes along.”

“Okay, fine. But the minute someone teaches us how to grow corn, John Wayne’s gone! I’m just sayin.”

Illustrated by Keely Sajovie

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